


Helmethead

by Tickle2Kill (CrownedIahos)



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, and puns, from a healthy dose of insomnia, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrownedIahos/pseuds/Tickle2Kill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They gathered all together and sat them side-by-side, but choosing whose was biggest was too hard to decide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helmethead

"Mine is bigger than everyone's." declared Loki.

"Ha! Not so, brother, it is longer but not bigger."

"What difference does it make, young princes? You are both pale and small. We Frost Giants have no need for such Asgardian measurements."

"Laufey, being blue and being jealous are two separate things entirely." Loki said with a smirk.

"I have words for you, second Odinson, but the air for them cannot be spared."

"He's trying not to blush; you do know Frost Giant cheeks turn purple when they blush?"

"Sif! Get out of this room now! You don't even have one to speak of."

"I'll go where I like, Loki!"

"There is too much sausage in this room. I will wait until dinner has been prepared."

"Hogun could never stand to talk about them."

"He's fine without your egos, Thor. What would your mother say?"

"Why is Sif in the room? Have you no sense of decency?"

"I don't see what's the matter with the sausage, it is well cooked."

"Stop eating for five seconds, Volstagg! Can you even find yours without help?"

"Fandral! That is no way to speak to him. So he can not see his toes, that does not mean he cannot find his little buddy." Thor reprimanded with a small smile on his lips.

"Oh, for the Allfather, this is madness."

"Isn't there some mortal quip that follows that? 'This is Martha' or something much the same?" Heimdall asked, looking about curiously.

"Mine is still the biggest!"

"Here, let me see them. Sit them side by side."

"Are you even qualified to do this, Sif?"

"Qualified? Loki, if your lips do not find a way to stick together, I'll sew them shut."

"Touchy..."

"Alright. It appears the longest is Loki's. Ah-ah, I am not finished! Heimdall's is the thickest. Thor...your's is the palest. Laufey, you do not have one, step away from the table. Allfather, you have the most interesting. Volstagg, pull yourself from the table for a moment and place yours here. Ah...yes, Volstagg's is the smallest."

"Sif! What on Midgard are you doing?"

"Oh, Frigga! I...it was just a little rivalry, I was settling the quarrel."

"Settling the quarrel? You had your hands all over them. Do you think fingerprints are easy to get off? They just smudge around until there is little to do but spit on them and try to bring a shine. They've got a court event upcoming. Go and get yourself ready."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ha! You were nearly spot-on, brother." The mischievous brother whispered to his thunderous one.

"Boys! Heimdall! Husband!"

"I am sorry, mother."

"Me as well, mother."

"You have my apologies, my lady."

"I am the Allfather."

"And you'll be no one in a minute. Get yourselves together. Comparing helmets...you'd think you were all little children. Besides, it does not matter the size of the helmet..."

"But the way one wears it." They all murmured together sullenly.

"Right. Now go on! There is enough time yet to get ready."

"Yes, mother."

"Yes, mother."

"My lady."

"Oh, alright, wife. Let us go...before I lose my other eye. HA!"

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net, but I wanted to put something on ao3 as a test for myself. Hope it made you smile! :)
> 
> You can drop me a line on my [ Tumblr. ](http://tickle2kill.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
